Rather than setting a specific goal or having a new year’s resolution, I’ve decided to start the year 2018 by letting go of my emotional baggage. It’s about boxing up and moving all the hardware accumulated over the years of running to a different place in my heart.
I still run, but don’t compete anymore. My running has suffered severely following my foot fracture and it’s been very hard for me to deal with the fact I cannot run like I used to. Just recently though, I’ve finally accepted the way my running is and never felt more peaceful in years.
I pushed myself so hard for almost 20 years of racing and training. I was and am grateful I had many good years of running. Some days and weeks I felt almost invincible- I would put in a 10 miler at 5:30 am and go to work and be on my feet for 8 hours. My body was able to handle 45 mile-a week of running and hold a full time job while raising a family.
Running has been there for me all those years of change. I didn’t always love it. Having a love-hate relationship with running was a necessary part of being a runner. Through it all, I had a passion for running; I thrived on it.
I have a lot of medals and trophies from winning races. I haven’t looked at them in years ( till I took these pictures today ). They were once a source of motivation for me to run harder and win more races. The medals and trophies hold a different meaning now. They are a reminder that I’ve run hard for many years. They are a reminder that I’ve ran with my children who grew up to be good runners.
I do miss how I was able to run my heart out. When I put on my running shoes now, I don’t think about what was before; I only remember all the good that came from running.